Okay, Frank. This is your conscience speaking. Now listen carefully.
This hiking trip means a Iot to her. Make it work.
Use that charm.
What's wrong now?
Oh, jeez. Oh, it's this damn toe.
Do me a favor, huh?
Don't you get old.
Listen to the toe. Don't you get old.
Boss, your plan worked.
That's right. l got this city exactly where l want it.
-What about the cop and the pill? -lf they give us a problem:
Fire!
Get it down! Money on the wood make the game go good.
Five bucks says size don't matter.
Let's do this thing now.
-Chicken-pock fights. -Get back!
Yeah, get him!
That's my baby! Try the headlock!
-See that dude? -A virus! We should arrest him!
No, that used to be a virus, now he's on our side.
-That's Chill. He's a flu shot. -He doesn't look fluish.
Just stay here and watch the maestro work.
Yo, Chill! Chill!
Pock fights are against the law.
Where you all going?
Thanks a lot, junior. You just cost me twenty.
Money won't be your problem if you don't tell me about the sinuses.
l was injected into this body to rat on influenza only.
And this don't sound like influenza to me. Now beat it.
l bet Johnny Streptococcus and the Melanoma family will be interested...
...to hear about your work.
You can't jack me on that, brother! l'm in the virus protection program.
You, virus. Children's strength ought to take care of you.
You done done it now, Chill. He's a psycho cop.
lt's too late to spill it.
Just off the Thorazine. He's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
He's going El Pollo Loco on your crazy behind.
l just can't look.
All right!
The guy's big time. He goes by the name of Thrax.
Go to that new place. The Zit, on the head.
You can't miss it. lt's huge. They're meeting tonight.
l'm out.
But you didn't hear that from me. You didn't hear that from me.
Next time, l'll be the bad cop.
You are a bad cop.
Who you calling a bad cop?
My, what big zits he has. How does this happen?
You wash your face with fried chicken.
Wait. Where do you think you're going?
-To get our cootie. -Like that?
-They'll tear you up. Get spiffy. -Spiffy?
Peep this. Check it out.
Pliable cellular dynamics. What an ingenious defense mechanism.
Ooh, let me try.
What do you think?
You should guard the car.
This is my mission too. l am going in with you.
All right. But we gotta get you something to wear.
You sure this is working?
Trust me, it's perfect.
Perfect.
We got company. Be cool.
Now, try to relax. Fit in. Shake a tail cell or something.
l don't dance. l have no left feet.
You don't dance?
Don't tell me you ain't never gotten jiggy with it.
l don't believe l have.
Come on, baby, give me a little bit of this.
Oh, all right.
-Here you go. -That's it, baby.
-Get down. -Don't let it settle at the bottom.
Oh, mama. Yo!
You stay and practice. Boy, you need it.
lf l'm not back in five, you come looking, okay?
Barkeep, what you got?
-You got a problem with that? -No. lt's just the way l like it:
Extra disgusting.
Three teams will move through the cranial artery...
...and one through the nasal passages.
We are going to the brain, baby. And we are stealing one of these.
This sucker comes from a place called the hypothalamus gland.
Hypothalamus. Hypothalamus.
Controls the temperature for the body.
We are going to march in and take the prize.
Frank's gonna heat up like a sidewalk on a summer day.
Go away.
l need to talk to you.
What a zit!
What is it? What do you want?
l want you to help me.
Should l call the cops?
Or maybe Shane should know about the 200-yard restraining order.
Please. She's been humiliated enough already.
Humiliated.
You turned me into a walking air-sickness bag.
My family was humiliated. You understand?
Do you have any idea of the teasing...
...that my sons, Ralph and Chuck, had to endure?
l know your daughter Hurly had to transfer.
Her name is Shirley.
That is much prettier.
-Tom Brokaw called her Hurly. -What?
But it was a cute picture.
We gotta get this water underneath our bridge, for Shane's sake.
l would never hold anything against one of my students.
Get back to work!
-Be prepared. lt's going down tonight. -Tonight?
Me and Madcow are going to Wrestlemania.
See this?
This DNA bead comes from a girl in Riverside, California.
Didn't like to wash her hands. Took me three whole weeks.
And this one. Nice lady in Detroit, Motown.
Six days flat.
Then there's this old guy in Philly.
l killed him in seventy-two hours.
l'm getting better as l go, but the problem is l never set a record.
Until my man Frank, that is.
l'll take him down in 48 hours. Get my chapter in the medical books.
Excuse me. Excuse me. l got one more question here.
Could a white blood cell do anything to stop this evil plan?
You know, hypothetically speaking, that is.
-And, who are you? -Who am l? Who am l?
A bad, booty-shaking pickinosis. Yeah. That's who l am.
-Never heard of you. -You just got here.
But ask any of them, when it comes to illing...
...bad, booty-shaking pickinosis stands above the rest.
Oh, that hurts.
That ain't no germ.
That's a cop.
Well, what do we have here? An officer of Frank's finest.
Somebody lay down a towel. This is going to be messy.
Attention, germs. You are surrounded.
Surrounded.
Yo, Hammer. You can stop dancing.
What kept you?
Es eI muerte rojo!
No me mates! Get out of here!
Please lift the restraining order...
...so l can do this father-daughter trip.
The answer is no.
Please.
Think about it overnight.
lt would make a little girl very happy.
Only for use against the most stubborn cold symptoms.
-Childproof caps. -Get him!
Why you hit so hard?
Drix, l could use a little help here.
Give me that.
Oh, no. Not again.
You have something white on your lips.
Other side.
Get out!
Out!
The answer is no! Absolutely not!
Thanks. You saved my cytoplasm in there.
Mr. Thrax has left the building.
Let's call for a scab and get to the precinct.
Jones! In my office.
Hey, hey, who died? Other than Thrax, that is. Brandy!
-l mean, Leah. Why are you here? -You really did it now.
-l didn't see you back there. -Disregarding orders, destruction...
...popping a pimple without a permit! What were you doing there?
-Promoting good health, sir. -ls that what you call it?
He was lethal. lf we hadn't stopped him--
-We'd be frying eggs off of Frank! -Watch it, you'll cause a panic.
People would think about what's going on in this body...
...not the stupid trip!
Okay, you want us to start thinking? Well, here's a thought:
You're fired.
-Mr. Mayor-- -Your badge, mister.
Figures. l finally do something right for Frank, and l get fired.
Without him, Frank could've been in mortal danger.
Mortal danger? You'd love to prove that, wouldn't you, Mr. Drixenol?
Get your name in the New EngIand JournaI of Medicine.
Son, read what it says on your arm.
"For the temporary relief of symptoms--"
Exactly. Temporary.
You're a wannabe. A placebo.
A generic brand. An over-the-counter Tic-Tac.
Now, get out of my body!
Continuing symptoms, whiIe annoying...
... wiII not deraiI pIans for the trip to the annuaI...
...chicken wing festivaI.
-What's so funny? -l don't know.
They're making this too easy.
You know, no one has ever gotten wise to me...
...and now for the first time...
...an immunity cell has figured out everything...
...and they don't believe him.
Can you taste the irony in that?
Shut up! What are you two laughing at?
We're back on schedule.
But boss, we're the only ones left.
Maybe we should incubate for a while?
You incubate.
l'm going to make my deadline.
Medical books aren't written about losers.
l'm not going.
-You're not going where, hon? -To Buffalo. l'm not going.
Honey, we're all packed. Buffalo's going to be a blast.
l'm going camping with my friends.
You're welcome to join us.
Well, l don't think....
l'd really like you to come.
You don't want me huffing and puffing after you.
You want to go, okay.
Uncle Bob will go with me to Buffalo.
l'm tired of this. lt's not fair.
l go where you want. l eat what you want.
Don't you ever think about anyone else?
l think about you.
Like when you packed me a fried Slim Jim sandwich?
Yeah. lt was a turkey Slim Jim.
You know, Dad....
Maybe if you and Mom listened to me a little more...
...and took care of yourselves...
...maybe she'd still be here.
lnock off that hamburger talk. Come here, honey.
Your mom died...
...because she got sick.
And how do you think you get sick?
Germs.
lt's the way you eat.
Who's that?
You know my great-great-grandpappy fought the measles?
There's been a Jones on the force since we came on the umbilical cord.
Until now, that is.
All right, ladies. Wrap it up now.
Well, l.... l guess l should get going.
Wouldn't want Frank to build immunity to me.
Maybe next time he takes Drixenol it'll do him some good.
-Goodbye, Drips. -That's Drix.
Whatever.
People, let's get started.
l don't need to remind anyone that today's our trip to Buffalo.
Frank will be up in 20 minutes. l don't want him losing an eyelash...
...or stubbing his toe.
Free screening?
We're broadcasting live dreams from the brain's subconscious.
You get back to work right now.
That's right, big boy. You keep on dreaming.
At least you got your health.
Ninety-eight point six.
-Ninety-eight point six. -Perfect.
You can't come in here!
Baby...
...you are looking fine today.
Don't forget the cushion we take to football games.
Don't want the voters in the hemorrhoids complaining.
Something's wrong with the weather.
-We're probably drinking coffee. -Look at the map.
-What if Jones is right? -Jones?
Funny. Funny.
You care more about your reelection...
...than our lives.
l'm going to the hypothalamus to check it out.
Hypo-who-what is this?
Leah, wait! Who will answer the phones?
Be advised. We have a break-in.
Sarge?
Nothing down there but bad dreams.
Frankie.
Wait.
Maybe Shane wouId Iike to know about the 200-yard restraining order.
Maybe if you and Mom Iistened to me a IittIe more...
...and took care of yourseIves...
-...maybe she'd stiII be here. -You're fired. Get out of here!
-Get out! -No, l can't.
-Get back to work. -What the-- Huh?
What the heck was that?
Francis Detorre, you stand up right now!
Thrax is alive and he's in the brain!
Oh, great, pal. Spoil the ending.
-What's your temperature? -98.6.
-ls this broken again? -Drix!
You get those skid marks out of my cIass! Out the door!
This cat was sick before l even got here.
Now boarding: the 937, with nonstop service...
-...to the toiIet bowI. -Tickets, please.
leep it moving.
-Thank you. -Drix!
-Yo, Drix! -Jones?
Get your butt off this boat!
-Thrax is alive. Let's go. -l'm sorry, Osmosis. l can't help you.
Excuse me?
l can't combat a virus. Read my label.
Learn to think outside the pillbox.
leep it moving.
l know sugar pills who cured cancer, because they believed.
Oh, l don't know, Ozzy. Look at me.
l'm cherry-flavored.
Hey, pal, are you on or off?
Fine. Flush your life down the toilet.
The zipper's down. All ashore that's going ashore.
-You know a pill who cured cancer? -No.
lt makes for a good pep talk.
Let's go catch a coId.
How about a hug for your Uncle Bob?
Okay. Nice talking to you too.
Hey, muscles.
-You don't look so good. -l feel a little fluey.
You know what they say, "Starve a cold, drown the flu."
Your body needs fluids. And lots of them.
ls beer fluid?
Of course.
-What about all that wet stuff in it? -l thought that was the beer.
No, finish that up. Come on, we want to get better.
There we go. That's it. That's my good washboard-tummy guy.
This is it. Men, go, go, go.
Hi, baby.
Why are you waiting? Shoot him!
lf you follow me, she dies.
Don't shoot.
-This ain't time to get carsick. -l'm okay, l'm 1 /8 Dramamine!
lt's just this darn heat!
As long as it don't hit 108 degrees, or Shane's an orphan.
Shane, look what l bought for you. They're false eyelashes.
Whatever.
Just close your eye.
You look good with falsies.
What the--?
Let me go!
Oh, don't worry. Shane wiII be fine.
l want to her to be at ease and not worry.
Listen...
...why don't you sit her down and tell her...
...that if anything happens to you, l will take care of her. Okay?
l will nurture her, l will love her...
...and when she's 1 6, l'll boot her out.
Sixteen?
l'm not gonna mommy her forever, okay? l mean, sixteen, sure.
Frank? Are you aII right?
We've a hostage situation invoIving the mayor's aide.
Leah, girl, what were you thinking?
Now, we go live...
...to a chase in the superior vena cava expressway.
Reports of a hostage are confirmed.
Look out!
Suspect is headed towards the uvuIa.
What the heck is a " uvala" ?
-lt's that dangly thing in Frank's-- -Boxer shorts! Okay!
Not that thing!
The one in his throat!
l knew that. l knew that.
Are you with me?
Frank, are you with me? Are you okay?
l feel fine. Say it!
Frank. Hold on, here.
You're going to the hospitaI. The trip is off.
-PuII it over, big guy. -The trip is off? No!
Shane, isn't that your dad?
Oh, my God.
Stop the bus!
Dad! Uncle Bob!
Shane, you're here?
-l'm her niece! -What happened?
Your daddy's had an accident.
-ls he okay? -He's going to be fine.
l hope he's going to be okay. Come on.
Let me go! Watch the hands, buddy!
-Hold up. -Put me down!
-Critical one here! -Coming through.
-What's the story on this one? -l don't know. He's burning up.
Let's move on my mark. One, two, lift!
-What is that nasty smell? -Cherry. Wild cherry.
Now let her go.
Why? So you can ice me again?
No! So l can!
Virus con Dios.
Jones! Ooh, thank Frank.
Temperature?
-lt's at 106.2. -Put him in ice!
We gotta cool him down!
-We need some ice in here! -Right, l'll get it.
Daddy?
Maggie.
No, Dad. lt's me, Shane.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
l ain't got time for this.
This is Frank PD. We have you surrounded.
Surrender.
-Give it up. You're busted. -Hand over the bracelet.
You're making this too easy.
-Pollen? -Check this out.
Oh, no!
Mother of Frank!
Enjoy the funeral, boys!
-We're dead. -How's your aim?
A lot better than yours!
What are you doing?
Saving Frank.
Let's do it.
You want Osmosis?
You've got Osmosis.
You just don't know when to quit, do you, Jones?
You know what, Jones? You want this chain so bad...
...Big Daddy Thrax is gonna let you have it.
Looks good on you, Jones.
You wear it well.
lt's a shame you came this far just to die.
Who's the Germinator now?
lt's a falsie.
Can you feel the heat, Jones?
Too bad you won't be here to see me break my record...
...when l take down Frank's pretty little girl.
She ain't going down.
-You are. -What?
No!
We're losing him. Breathe!
-Come on, man. -Daddy! No! l don't want to lose you!
-Take her out. -Come on, honey.
-No, that's my dad! -The doctor's doing everything he can.
Hey! Wait!
Frank!
Things are grim as temperatures rise dangerousIy.
We've Iost contact with the extremities.
NNN wiII stay on the air as Iong as possibIe.
When we return, househoId appIiances that can improve your goIf swing.
You siIIy twit, don't you get it?! We are going to die!
I knew it. At the first dark cIoud, you faII apart.
-Moron! -Phony!
Gentlemen, playing with you has been the greatest pleasure of my life.
He's not coming back. He's not gonna make it.
Come on, sweetheart. He'll be....
That's it.
-Wait, hey. -Daddy!
l'm so sorry. l didn't mean to say that.
l don't blame you for Mom's death. l didn't mean it.
You're the greatest dad in the world.
Look!
Get that thing to the hypothalamus now!
Okay, l'm calling it.
l'm sorry. sweetie. Come on. l know.
Wait a minute! He's got a pulse!
He's coming back.
One-oh-seven-point-seven.
One-oh-seven-point-six.
Your mama says, " Hi."
As temperatures stabiIize, a gratefuI city saIutes Osmosis Jones.
The officer who saved us.
Jones has been reinstated to the force with fuII priviIeges.
Ozzy, can l count on you to keep Frank in shape?
We got that insurance exam next month.
You're going to have to talk to my new partner.
-lf he feels like hanging around. -But my visa's expired.
We'll go to the hemorrhoid and get you a good lawyer.
Come here, baby. l'm still Jonesing for a little more Osmosis.
Oh, my God. Look how beautiful.
l told you it'd be worth it.
Didn't think l'd break a sweat coming up here. But l did.
Yeah, it was kind of a long drive.
Carrot?
l wonder what this does.
-Dad. -Was that you?
What the heck. Out with the old, in with the new.